Rise of the OtherGod Apostle: Not a Cult Leader, but a Serf?!

#114Reader Mode

Trigger Warning Self-harm/Suicide: This content may contain scenes or discussion about self-harm or suicide, which could be disturbing for some people.

#114

…Is he an idiot?

The thought flashed through my mind the second he blurted out his threat to kill himself.

How is that supposed to be a threat, exactly?

Is there even a law against aiding and abetting suicide in the Dark Realm?

These questions spun around in my head. Not that I’d find any joy in watching someone die—obviously, it’s not a pleasant sight. But deep down, I knew Athanas wasn’t serious.

No way he’s actually going to do it.

It had to be an act, another one of his dramatic outbursts. This whole “I’m going to kill myself” routine was just a performance. A tactic to manipulate me, like threatening to jump off a ledge.

Ridiculous.

Did he really think that would work on me?

Fine, go ahead and die then…

If it were anyone else, maybe I’d care. But Athanas? His death doesn’t concern me in the slightest.

Athanas is the protagonist, after all. Destined to rise again, no matter how many times he falls.

I’ve seen him die so many times it’s almost… boring.

“Athanas…”

I wasn’t nervous. Not even close. I felt calm. Steady.

Why wouldn’t I be? This is just a dream.

Even the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears felt more like the background noise of a video game than anything real. Just like when you’re running in a horror game—it’s not like you’re actually out of breath, right?

This is a dream.

Still, even if it’s all fake, I don’t want to watch him die right in front of me. Game blood isn’t warm—it’s just red pixels on a screen. But being drenched in real blood? The warmth, the stickiness… that’s something else entirely.

I’ve never been drenched in blood.

Or… have I?

Doesn’t matter. I’m not exactly eager to find out. Pretty sure that would be the start of another terrible nightmare.

This is a dream.

I shut my eyes tight.

This is a dream.

But even with my eyes closed, the words still flashed clearly in my mind like an on-screen prompt.

This is a dream.

If this is a dream, then I should be able to wake up, right?

How do I make that happen?

I need to wake up before this turns into something I can’t unsee. Before it becomes a full-blown horror scene.

This is a dream.

Alright, alright, I get it! Just tell me how escape from this already.

I don’t want to see Athanas die.

Not even in a dream.

Are you even listening to me?

This is a dream.

…Yeah, sure. How do you argue with a mindless dialogue macro?

I sighed and gave in. If I didn’t, I’d only end up with a splitting headache.

“Don’t do it,” I warned the Athanas in the dream. But he ignored me.

“I said, don’t!”

The sword edged closer to his throat, a thin red line forming as it pressed into his skin.

“Please, Athanas…”

Just leave him alone. It’s only a dream.

But my body refused to obey. Instinctively, my hand shot out, grabbing the blade. A sharp sting exploded as blood welled up, coating my fingers.

A strangled cry came from my body. “Aaagh!”

I felt a flash of annoyance and quickly wrote a new line in my mind.

None of this hurts. Because it’s just a dream.

Pain isn’t real. It’s just an “interpretation” processed by the brain.

My ragged breaths slowly evened out, the throbbing in my hand fading away.

“Athanas, Athanas, Athanas…”

As if in answer, the sword slipped from his grip, crashing against the floor. Then, without warning, he pulled me into his arms.

I feel a sense of disgust.

“Athanas, please…”

I push Athanas away.

But the command didn’t register; my body felt sluggish, unresponsive.

This isn’t Athanas. It’s a twisted imitation, a cruel fake wearing his face. The real Athanas is still searching for you. You have to find him.

Only with that thought do I finally manage to push him away.

Panic does that. It desynchronizes the connection between mind and body, like server lag in a game. Makes your actions feel disconnected, delayed.

I need to wake up from this dream.

“Dream, I need to wake up from this dream.”

In my vision, I drew a bright arrow pointing to the sword on the ground, a glowing beacon impossible to miss.

If I stab myself with the sword, I can wake up from the dream.

The sword lay there, perfectly framed by bold, dramatic lines, like a comic book panel. A quest marker, signaling my next move. I’d seen prompts like this before—doors waiting to be opened, levers ready to be pulled—always with a sparkle or a guiding light.

Was this the dream’s way of telling me to act?

It won’t hurt. This is just a dream.

I felt nothing… no pain, even as blood dripped from my hand. That was proof enough—none of this was real!

I steadied myself. I knew what I had to do.

If I stab my neck with that sword, I can wake up from this dream.

Yes, that’s it. That was the only option left.

“Fabio!” a voice called out, frantic and urgent.

Shit.

Fabio was a trash unit—always too slow, always useless when it mattered. Before my hand could even twitch towards the gleaming sword, Athanas’ boot connected with it, sending it skittering across the floor, far out of reach.

“Shit.” I cursed under my breath.

Athanas’ arms wrapped around me from behind, his grip firm, pulling me away from the sword. The glowing outline around it flickered, then vanished, trapping me in this dream.

“Fabio, look at me.”

I forced myself to turn, to meet his eyes. Those deep blue eyes…

Eyes that could make me want to cry just by looking at them.

Because of you…

The accusation slammed into my skull, a relentless, pounding wave of anger and sorrow.

Because of you. Because of you. Because of you…!

Darkness swallowed my vision, overtaken by a torrent of rage-charged words. A sharp pain tore through my head, like my skull was about to split apart.

[SYSTEM: Due to the effect of ‘The Whole World Is Beneath Oneself,’ the status effect ‘Blessing of Comfort’ has been nullified.]

“Ah, that relic! My precious research equipment!”

“When did you raid the lab’s storage room?”

“A holy knight of the Order, resorting to thievery? Surely, the Lord must be pleased.”

“But are we just going to stand by and let this happen?”

“Shh, patience. I believe I’m beginning to understand the real issue here…”

What a pointless waste of time.

‘The Whole World Is Beneath Oneself’—a passive trait that grants me absolute control over my mental state.

No one can manipulate me but the version of myself I decide to listen to.

“…Fabio.”

It would’ve been better to do nothing.

Athanas isn’t an idiot.

He might realize I exist, hidden within.

He might try to separate me from him.

I shouldn’t have let my anger get the best of me when he spewed that nonsense about loving me…

I do not respond.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

I do not respond.

But the words won’t disappear.

Even as tears slide down my face, they stay sharp, clear—unblurred.

“Ah…”

My voice broke. I couldn’t even form a coherent thought.

Then it hit me.

Status window.

I murmured the command, and a translucent screen appeared, listing my traits.

Unique Traits: [Miracle of the Silver Tongue], [The Whole World Is Beneath Oneself], [???], [System User], [■■ ■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■]

The last trait was obscured, hidden beneath a thick smear of black, like corrupted data. No matter how much I squinted or focused, I couldn’t see beyond the stain.

The blessing…this trait was inscribed onto my retina.

Since the very beginning…

I do not respond.

…But a gesture isn’t a response, right?

I raised my hand, aiming it straight at my eye.

Damn it, listen to me!

The words in my vision shifted, rearranging themselves.

I do not move.

My body locked up, my hand frozen mid-air, just inches from my eye. Every muscle tensed, resisting me. My own body, fighting against itself!! Anger flared, hot and fierce, coursing through my veins.

In this messed-up world, holding onto some sense of control was the only thing keeping me sane. Why couldn’t he see that?

Stupid bastard…

I should’ve known from the moment he reacted to the keyword ‘Athanas.’

Athanas is deceiving you! Betraying you!

Yeah, enough already. Shut up.

And the way you’re speaking, referring to me as “you”… it means you think we’re separate, doesn’t it? So, doesn’t that mean you’re not truly me anymore?

You have to hate Athanas! Hate him!

[SYSTEM: Effect of ‘The Whole World Is Beneath Oneself’ has nullified ‘Forced Persuasion.’]

A system alert flashed before my eyes, and suddenly, it was like a fog was lifted from my mind. Clarity rushed in.

Wow…

A wave of dizziness hit me. What was I thinking, trying to use Forced Persuasion on myself? Had I completely lost my mind? That’s not just reckless—it’s pure insanity.

Maybe the version of me from the 24th floor got ‘contaminated’ after descending to that basement level? That must be it. Otherwise, even if such a terrifying idea crossed my mind, there’s no way I would’ve acted on it.

No, that’s not me.

I kept repeating it in my head, over and over. That’s a different entity. It’s not me anymore.

So…

“Ugh…”

A sharp, burning pain shot through my hand.

Shit!

This hurts like hell!

So this isn’t a dream after all!

[You, you, you crazy bastard….]

The ‘Not Me’ from the 24th floor was writing across my vision again.

No, the real crazy bastard isn’t me. It’s you.

Damn. What a perfect deception. Convincing me that the blessing was etched into my arm, only to have it hidden in my eye all along.

[Do you even know what I felt when I did that?]

How could I? I’m not you. This isn’t your body. So keep your distance and shout all you want.

[You don’t get it! You don’t understand anything!]

If I don’t understand, then explain it! You never showed me the important entries, the ones that would have actually explained anything…

[…I can’t talk about it wherever the Starlight reaches. Please, you’ll regret this. This is the only way, I swear.]

“I’m sorry.”

Athanas’ whisper was soft, almost tender, and the text across my vision trembled, convulsing as if it were in agony.

[Stop it! Don’t apologize! I said, don’t apologize! A half-assed apology like that…!]

The flood of text was overwhelming, crashing over my sight until everything blurred into a chaotic mess. I didn’t need to force myself to read it anymore, but the visual noise was impossible to ignore. My eyes throbbed with a sharp, insistent pain.

[Undo it! Undo it! Stop it, even now! Tell him to stop!]

No, if you hadn’t crossed the line, I would’ve used the trait as intended. But now… how am I supposed to trust anything you say? Damn it!

A cell that mutates and multiplies without regard for the body’s needs becomes a cancer, right? And who would leave a cancer unchecked?

I certainly don’t want maggots crawling in my eye sockets.

[You know nothing, you clueless idiot!]

Maybe. But sometimes, ignorance is a shield. Regret needs memory to exist. If I don’t remember, I won’t regret any of this.

“Athanas,” I said, pointing to my eye once more. “You asked what needed to be done, right?”

I kept my voice calm, even. “You have to gouge out this eye, rewind time, and do it all over again. That way, ‘Fabio’ won’t suspect a thing. Sure, losing the eye might be traumatic, but when he wakes up, he’ll just think it was another nightmare.”

[Please… I can still be of use. Now that you recognize me as a separate entity, Forced Persuasion won’t affect you anymore. You can treat me as a unique trait. I can help. I can keep a log, blur out what you don’t want to see…]

No. Your existence is a hindrance. Even now, you’re obstructing my vision. This isn’t some real-time subtitle service.

“Athanas, you didn’t come looking for me today. You have no clue I left the reliquary behind, and you’re unaware I made my way to the main building.”

“…Do I really have to do it again?”

“You must remove my eye before using Retrograde. Otherwise, it could still transmit information.”

[I don’t want to disappear…]

Athanas’ hands, trembling, gently cupped my face. His fingers were coated in blood as they shoved deep into my mouth.

…Shouldn’t he use a handkerchief to prevent me from biting my tongue?

Why his fingers…?

But the thought faded as quickly as it came.

Then, white-hot agony detonated behind my eye, obliterating every other sensation.

“……!!”

[SYSTEM: The trait ‘I Record, Therefore I Exist’ has been removed.]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

I jolted awake, gasping for air, my heart pounding like it was trying to escape my chest.

Was it a dream?

Something felt off…

Like waking from a nightmare… a particularly vivid and terrifying one.

“……”

My eyes. My left eye…

I reached up, touched it gingerly.

It’s fine.

Was it all just a dream?

It had to be. Just a dream.

“Are you awake?”

…Callister?

The one who cut off my arm…

Then, how much of that was real?

“Athanas….”

“Yes?”

“Wasn’t Athanas there when my arm was cut off…?”

Callister tilted his head, messy dark purple curls tumbling over his face.

“Athanas? Actually, my name is Colomba.”

“……”

The Research Director?

He looks just like Callister.

No, focus. That’s not what matters. What matters is if he saw Athanas.

When Athanas spoke to him then, Callister—or whoever he is—just nodded, stepped back, and watched.

Then he held me down, saying it was to help while my arm—

“Wasn’t there someone else with you?”

“It was just me, Aldo, and you, Fabio.”

“…Who’s Aldo?”

“My axe! The one I used to remove your arm!”

“……”

“Ah, right! And Palbio was there too!”

Who the hell is that?

Is that what he calls the handkerchief he stuffed in my mouth?

As if reading my thoughts, the Research Director pulled a pale, severed arm from his coat and waved it at me.

“This is Palbio. It used to be attached to you!”

“……”

“And now it’s mine!”

This guy is completely insane…

T/N If you’re looking for some clarity on the timeline chaos, read on! I’ve always appreciated when people break this stuff down in anime and stories for me, so here’s my attempt ( •̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ (it’s a bit long, so grab a snack first):

On the 24th floor, we can assume that Papabio on the 24th floor is desperate to avoid death and being forgotten. He concocts a plan by lying about the blessing’s location, leading both Fabio and us readers to believe that cutting off his arm was the only way to get rid of the “book” and ensure the blessing – and his existence – would continue. So yes, this means Papabio had to gouge out his own eye and let it be ‘obliterated’ to make this deception work.

We can only guess why, but perhaps due to knowledge gained on the lower floors or anger towards Athanas for trapping him there by using “Retrograde,” Papabio decided Fabio should die.

Fabio’s “The Whole World is Beneath Oneself” trait makes him immune to external influence, but not to his own. Because the Mother God’s description reveal made Fabio believe Papabio was his 24th-floor self, he became susceptible to his own “Forced Persuasion” skill.

Papabio then convinces Fabio that Athanas isn’t real and he’s in a dream, urging him to commit suicide. Obviously, Athanas wasn’t going to let that happen, likely using Retrograde to prevent or reverse Fabio’s death multiple times. It’s likely during these attempts that Athanas confesses his love to try to stop him, further infuriating Papabio, who blames Athanas for his impending annihilation. (Remember, Papabio is unaffected by Retrograde on the 24th floor and witnesses every reset).

After numerous failed attempts and nearing exhaustion, Athanas tries a last-ditch effort: convincing Fabio he’s not dreaming by attempting suicide himself. Papabio is willing to let this happen, but Fabio isn’t. This creates internal conflict within Fabio. Papabio tries to force him to watch, but this clashes with Fabio’s core nature – his unwillingness to see Athanas die and his need for absolute control over his mind. This allows Fabio to mentally separate from Papabio, see him as a distinct entity, and break free from the Forced Persuasion.

We still have many unanswered questions. Fabio hints that Papabio’s anger and actions seem so unlike him, suggesting the “contamination” on the lower levels might have corrupted him. The black stains on the trait are pretty ominous too. Maybe our ignorance is protecting us readers too. We can still believe that Fabio made the right choice in not killing himself because we lack some crucial piece of information.

(But seriously, I still wanna know! Author, give us those Athanas POV chapters! We need answers!) (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)