Rise of the OtherGod Apostle: Not a Cult Leader, but a Serf?!

#071Reader Mode

#071

“Deserves to crumble…”

“The blame doesn’t lie with the person who buckled under the crushing pressure, but with those who foolishly dumped that weight on someone so unsuited for it. If a sage flees from the overwhelming burden of an entire village, is the chaos that follows really his fault? No, of course not! Many people will point their fingers and cast blame, but so what? You can just find a place where their judgement can’t reach you – stretch your legs and live in peace.”

“…But what if there’s nowhere left to run to?”

“You are not being excommunicated, just stepping down from your position. It’s not like you’ll be expelled from the Order, right? If you live as a humble serf in some remote mountain village, who’s even going to notice or care?”

“……”

“You don’t look convinced. Wondering how living like that could possibly give you any peace of mind?”

“…Yes.”

“Figured as much.”

Fabio smiled slightly as he spoke.

“If running away was an option for you, you wouldn’t be stressing over this in the first place. There’s an easier solution for those who can just stop thinking about it, blind themselves to the truth and live as if it never happened.”

“…What solution is that?”

“Stop seeing the other person as human.”

Fabio spoke with a casual ease, as if discussing the most natural and ordinary thing in the world.

“Isn’t it better for a soldier to forget that the enemy he slays with his spear had parents who loved him too? The same holds true for a holy knight. See them only as sinners, deserving of whatever fate they brought upon themselves. But you, Athanas, chose not to numb yourself to their humanity.”

Fabio reached out and gave Athanas’s hand a firm, comforting squeeze.

“Athanas, you’re not weak, but a good person. The weak mistake numbness for strength, but you recognize the danger in that. If someone like you quits being a holy knight, could you honestly live in peace? You would only torment yourself further, constantly thinking about all the people you could’ve saved if you hadn’t run away.”

“……”

“Since this duty is yours either way, think about it like this: isn’t it actually a blessing for the condemned to be judged by someone who still sees them as human? Who better than you to oversee this?”

“…When you put it that way, it seems like it would be very unappreciated.”

Fabio laughed loudly.

“Well, of course it would be! But what do they know? Don’t worry too much about it. Don’t foolish beasts become startled and flee in fear, even when you’re trying to help them?”

“Foolish beasts…”

“Perfect comparison, right? They’re people who abandon eternal salvation to avoid immediate punishment. You said it yourself that they would spit curses and resent you, not realizing you’re trying to save them. How are they any different from stupid beasts?”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“Well, if they are human, then all the better. Because if they’re human, they’ll be able to realize it someday—that what you did to them wasn’t deception, but salvation.”

…Athanas felt sick to his stomach. He couldn’t bring himself to look Fabio in the eye. “Thank you. Your words have been a great help.”

“Don’t mention it. Athanas, you already had the answer within you.” Fabio replied, the anger and fear in his voice replaced by a warmth that made Athanas’s insides twist.

“Still… because of you, I know what I need to do now.”

“So you’re not giving up then?”

“No.” Athanas paused, then held Fabio’s hand in return. “I’ve realized that what I should really be afraid of isn’t you resenting me, but hesitating like this and never being able to save you.”

“Huh?”

“…I’m going to do what needs to be done. Because you called me a savior.”

“When did Iー“

Athanas activated [Retrograde].

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

I don’t want to deceive.

I want to reveal the truth.

I want someone to understand me, believe in me, and cooperate with me.

Deep down, he selfishly craved validation and encouragement for what he was doing.

Realizing this, shame washed over Athanas. He had made others suffer, over and over, just to feel better about himself.

“Those who dare to fabricate the revelation of God shall have their necks severed and heads mounted upon my pole as a warning to all… A truth that any holy knight should know well.”

A murderous intent, sharper than any blade, descended upon Athanas.

“Speak. Why did you approach ‘Fabio,’ even going so far as to forge Valentine’s revelation?”

…Let me be treated as a madman, if need be.

In an orderly world, never crossing lines might be virtuous restraint. Turning back time could erase any mistakes.

But in this world overflowing with uncertainties, adhering strictly to such principles wasn’t just stubbornness, but irresponsibility itself.

Any opportunities within reach must be utilized to the fullest.

“…What other reason could I have besides love?”

“What?”

“If you’re asking why I didn’t just confess my feelings, why I secretly followed him instead… I’ll tell you. I was that desperate. I wanted to know more about him before baring my heart. That’s why I dared to forge Valentine’s revelation. Because he’d willingly forgive the misdeeds of a foolish young man in love.”

“Are you saying you love ‘Fabio’?”

The radiant halo behind Sextus flickered.

…If I answer, those eyes will see right through my lie.

Athanas would be condemned for the unforgivable sin of falsely claiming to have received the God of Love’s revelation without truly being in love. It would be perjury before an Apostle.

If Fabio blocks it again…

Athanas quickly went over the questions he needed to ask, rehearsing the flow of the conversation in his mind.

His chances to turn back time were limited.

He couldn’t afford to waste a single moment.

“Answer me,” Sextus demanded.

“…Yes. I love him.”

Sextus frowned.

Hesitating too long would give away my true intentions.

So he had to maintain his composure as much as possible.

So that it wouldn’t seem unnatural…

“What you just said…” The sword pointing at Athanas lowered. “It’s the truth.”

“Pardon?” Fabio asked, surprised. “Wait, what did you say? It’s the truth?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Had it been a lie, I could have removed his head instantly for the sin of perjury…”

“Athanas…likes me?”

“What, you don’t like that? If not, I shall cleanly erase his memories of ever meeting you. I can’t erase his feelings, but I can make it so he’ll never remember who he loved.”

“No, that’s not it…” Fabio seemed to be struggling to make sense of it all. “It doesn’t make any sense! Could he be under some kind of curse? No, he must be!”

“Why would you think that?” Sextus inquired.

“Because there’s no way he could actually like me!”

“…And why is that so hard to believe? I like you too, Fabio.”

“Mr. Ter, you just pity me because you’re an Apostle! But Athanas barely knows me and suddenly claims to like me! It’s completely different!”

“It’s not just pity…”

“Look at me! Is this the face of someone who would catch a person’s eye in passing? Unless he’s into obedient types who’ll do whatever he says, this face doesn’t even stand out! How could he fall for a face with a charm of only 30? Just 30!”

“…I think you look just fine though.”

“No, this is no time for empty reassurances Mr. Ter! Who can we get to do a psychiatric evaluation on him? Should we call for the Saint? The Saint should be able to lift any curse, right?”

There’s no need to overreact like this, is there? Athanas thought to himself, feeling quite perplexed. But seeing Fabio’s frantic response helped him remain relatively calm by comparison.

If the desire to save someone isn’t considered ‘love’, then what is?

It’s actually shameful that it hasn’t been recognized as love until now.

…Come to think of it, he probably still views romance between men as forbidden.

If that’s the case, his surprise was understandable. Confessing feelings that go against the Order’s norms to an Apostle…

…The situation has gotten a bit messy, but if I make Sextus suspicious again, it should play out similarly.

“Fabio, there’s something I want to tell you,” Athanas said.

“Wait! Just hold on!” Fabio shouted firmly. “Mr. Ter, can you make sure no one else hears what he’s about to say?”

“I can do that.”

“Why all of a sudden…” Before Athanas could ask, the Blessing of Silence took away his voice.

“……”

“I’m sorry. But trust me, Athanas, you’ll thank me later. Once the curse is lifted, you’ll totally regret what you were about to say just now.”

“……”

“The Saint said he’ll be here soon, so just wait a bit.”

“……”

“Anyway, it’s definitely a curse.”

As absurd as the situation seemed, Athanas decided to wait it out without turning back time. He was curious to see how Fabio would react once it was confirmed that it wasn’t actually a ‘curse’.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

“He’s not under any curse,” the Saint confirmed.

“What? That can’t be…!” Fabio exclaimed in disbelief.

“Fabio, I, the Lord’s foremost Apostle, assure you. That man is not under the influence of any miracle distorting his emotions.”

“Then he really…”

“Likes you,” the Saint finished.

“But for a man to like another man…”

The Saint cast a Blessing of Silence, then spoke at length to Fabio. The words couldn’t be heard, but the gist could be inferred.

…He’s probably telling him he’s mistaken.

While Athanas couldn’t see Fabio’s face, his reddened ears spoke volumes.

Athanas checked the remaining time.

Only five minutes left now…

The current situation presented an unexpected opportunity that wouldn’t come again, even though it wasn’t originally intended.

If it weren’t for these peculiar circumstances, Fabio would have immediately dismissed Athanas’s proclamation of love as a lie.

I need to understand why he so vehemently denies that this could be love.

“…Athanas.” Fabio asked, unable to make eye contact. “What…do you like about me? Why did these…feelings develop? Since when…”

“Does there really need to be a reason for liking someone?”

“Of course there does! So I can avoid repeating whatever caused it, right?”

“…Avoid it?”

“Honestly, how much have we actually talked? What do you truly know about me? You know nothing, so the love you feel is just a delusion. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable because of some delusion.”

“Whether it’s a delusion or not…”

“Love is just another emotion. Just like how people can suppress anger and overcome sadness, they can also ignore love. You just need to avoid being swayed by your emotions. If you don’t add more fuel to the fire, it’ll die out on its own, right?”

“…Do you dislike the fact that I love you?”

“Do I dislike it? Of course I do!”

“Why do you dislike it?”

“Haa, do I need reasons to dislike something?”

“…So I can improve on those aspects.”

“The same goes for me, doesn’t it? No, I’m refusing this much, but you have no intention of giving up on those feelings?”

Athanas pondered for a moment on how to answer.

“…That’s right.”

“Then I guess it can’t be helped.” Fabio quickly hid behind Sextus and shouted, “Mr. Ter, please use Oblivion!”

“Okay. I’ll erase it cleanly. Ah, should I make him forget about the branch library too? Then he won’t go there againー”

…Athanas used [Retrograde].

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

“Ah, you’re awake?”

“…Was it really necessary to go that far?”

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

T/N: Well, well, well! Looks like Athanas has fallen for Fabio, thanks to the Retrograde loops. He’s now an official member of Fabio’s cult … cough, cough… harem? No wait! *Ahem* a perfectly ordinary bunch of friends! That’s better. Athanas only needs to deceive our MC to ‘save’ him and Fabio (unknowingly) convinced him to do it. So wholesome. What could possibly go wrong? ʱªʱªʱª(ᕑᗢᓫ∗)