Rise of the OtherGod Apostle: Not a Cult Leader, but a Serf?!

#070Reader Mode

#070

“I have [Retrograde]. I was hiding it because you seemed afraid of me, but…”

Fabio’s jaw dropped in shock.

Then he suddenly smacked his forehead and let out a scream-like groan.

“Aaargh! F*ck!”

“Fabio?”

“Retrograde! You had Retrograde all along! No wonder you were so calm!”

“Fabio, right now…”

“I knew I wasn’t going crazy! F*ck! I almost fell for your gaslighting!”

“Time is…”

“Wow, you crazy bastard!”

“…You think I’m crazy?”

“Of course you’re crazy! F*ck! Getting stabbed but enduring the pain just to get more information instead of turning back time – if that’s not crazy, then what is? Doesn’t it hurt like hell? Is it really worth suffering through this?”

“…It hurts like hell alright, but I have to endure it. Otherwise, I’ll have to get stabbed again to hear your answer.”

“Wow…this bastard is really insane.”

Fabio let out a hollow laugh.

“Okay, so you have Retrograde. Guess I’ll have to give you an answer then. Otherwise, you’ll just keep pulling this crazy stunt until you hear what you want. Am I right?”

Before Athanas could reply, Fabio continued.

“You asked why I was afraid? Because ‘Athanas’ is a crazed heretic butcher! A ruthlessly efficient inquisitor who kills without hesitation! Even now, you’re doing something no sane person would dare attempt! How could a heretic bastard who hasn’t received the Order’s blessing not tremble in fear before that?”

“…Am I in a position where killing you is necessary?”

“Necessary to kill me? Normally, yes. The Watched Ones are what? Apostles of evil gods chosen to destroy the world and disrupt order.”

“You…”

“Will I destroy the world? No f*cking way! Are you insane? Why would I do that? I don’t want to die! I don’t want to believe in strange gods either! That’s why I came to the Church of Order on my own. I begged them to spare me, swearing I won’t cause trouble! I truly have no intention of doing anything bad. So Athanas, can’t you just ignore me too? I’ll tell you everything right now. Okay??”

Fabio spat out the words in a frenzied rush, barely pausing for breath.

“Seriously, I’m a worthless nobody you don’t need to waste time and energy investigating. Think of me as a worm that will shrivel up and die if left alone!”

“Then shouldn’t you cooperate with me? If I’m truly a savior…”

Fabio frowned and opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

No, all sound had suddenly vanished.

…Sextus is blocking my hearing.

Less than a minute remained anyway.

“The Apostle has blocked my hearing, Fabio. I can’t hear what you’re saying. So look me in the eye and tell me. Won’t you cooperate with me?”

Scrunching up his face, Fabio stared directly at Athanas and mouthed a single word.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

“Ah, you’re awake?”

Athanas lifted his head, a wave of weariness washing over him.

He found himself back in the branch library.

Fabio stood over him, looking down.

“What a relief. I was worried about what I’d do if you didn’t wake up. I have an important appointment today, so I need to leave quickly…”

“Fabio.”

“Yes?”

Athanas grasped Fabio’s arm.

Fabio’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Why…”

Athanas closed his mouth, the words catching in his throat.

There was so much he wanted to ask.

But…

“Um… is there something you want to say?”

Athanas quietly gazed at Fabio.

He could feel the pulse quickening in the arm he held.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Pardon? For what?”

It was a meaningless apology.

Only Athanas remembered the rewound time.

Still, Athanas felt compelled to apologize.

“…I’m sorry for approaching you again even after you said you didn’t want me to.”

“Um… are you not fully awake yet?”

“But I really need you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just one hour… Could you listen to my story just this once?”

If I bare my soul to him, maybe he’ll still talk to me.

That was Athanas’s hope.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

“Ah, you’re awake?”

“……”

Athanas stared blankly at Fabio.

“You seem a bit tired. Maybe I shouldn’t have woken you? You didn’t tell me when to wake you…”

“…No, thank you for waking me.”

“Then I’ll get going. I have an important appointment today…”

“Fabio.”

“Yes?”

“Can you hear me out for a moment? There’s something weighing on me.”

“…Didn’t I just say I have an important appointment?”

“It’s a really important matter.”

“No, I told you I have an important appointment too. And why are you coming to me for advice…”

“I’ve been having doubts about leaving my role as a holy knight and this Cathedral behind,” Athanas said, his voice heavy with uncertainty.

Fabio’s eyebrows shot up. “What? Wait, where is this coming from? Did something happen? Is it because of those people harassing you?”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Then why…?”

“…I have fundamental doubts about what I must do as a Sword of Order.”

“What kind of doubts?”

“To carry out condemnation, one must uncover what people desperately try to hide. During that process, there are times when deception becomes a necessary evil.”

“Deception, you say…”

“If I state my true intentions openly, they won’t cooperate. So at times, I must conceal my real purpose and approach them under false pretenses.”

Fabio frowned.

“…Is that really deception though? No matter how you look at it, the fault lies with the one unwilling to cooperate. In fact, hiding something from a holy knight implies you have something to be ashamed of, right? That means the other person is the one who is truly being deceptive. What else can you call it but deception when someone commits acts that disrupt order while trying to avoid accountability?”

Athanas was momentarily speechless.

“There are unfortunate cases where it can’t be judged so simply,” Athanas argued. “People who, if given the choice, would never have done such a thing…”

“Regardless of how they got there, they have still strayed from righteous order, correct? Harsh measures may be needed to steer them right.”

“But during that process, that person will be deeply hurt.”

“Unfortunately, isn’t that something they have to bear?”

“…Even if they ended up in that situation against their will?”

“Of course. They may not have chosen their circumstances, but refusing to cooperate is still their choice, isn’t it?”

“I… don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“Whether it’s right for me to deceive and hurt that person…”

Fabio looked at Athanas incredulously.

“So, what then? Are you just going to leave them be? You said this isn’t what they wanted. Shouldn’t you intervene swiftly, make them atone for their sins, and guide them back into order’s embrace? Wouldn’t that be best for them too?”

“Is it…really that simple?”

“Am I wrong? What’s really bothering you?”

“I…”

Athanas hesitated for a moment, then continued.

“…I’m afraid if they learn the truth, they’ll be terrified of me. Hate me. Despise me.”

And more than that…

“I’m afraid that I’ll grow numb to this. Stop feeling that fear altogether, one day.” Having finished, Athanas finally looked up at Fabio.

Fabio’s expression was subtle and hard to read.

“I see…” Fabio murmured at last. He pulled a chair beside Athanas and sat down. “I understand why you might want to quit being a holy knight.”

“You do?”

“Of course. It’s not that I don’t know how you feel. No, actually, I deeply sympathize with it. Who would enjoy being resented?”

Fabio cleared his throat with a few coughs.

“I don’t know why you’d bring such a heavy matter to a nobody like me, but well, even a worthless guy can offer some advice.”

“I don’t think you’re worthless.”

“Thanks for saying that. But you know? I rather like being insignificant…”

“Why is that?”

Fabio leaned back, a philosophical air about him. “Think about it. When a village faces turmoil, who do the people turn to for answers – the wise man or the worm? They’ll turn to the wise man, time and again. But even the wisest can be wrong once out of a hundred times. And if that one mistaken advice causes great harm, how understanding do you think the people would be? Would they nod and say ‘mistakes happen’?”

Fabio paused for a moment.

“…Honestly? I think more would resent him. They’d criticize him, saying, ‘how could you lead us astray when we trusted your wisdom?’ Doesn’t that sound exhausting? Being scolded for one misstep, despite ninety-nine rights. But the worm? No one seeks a worm’s advice to begin with. But say someone did, only to face scorn – ‘you idiot, asking a worm for advice!’ Viewed that way, isn’t the life of an ignorant fool far more peaceful?”

“That…might be true,” Athanas conceded after a moment.

“But think about it the other way around. Why is a worm called a worm? Because smarter beings surround him, making him seem insignificant by comparison. But if that same worm found itself in a village of even greater fools? Why, he’d become the wise man that they all turn to saying, ‘Sage, what should we do in this crisis?’”

“So…”

“Do you see the moral of the story?” Fabio didn’t wait for a response. “The village will carry on, with or without them. Athanas, if you wish to quit, then quit. Someone else will take up your work – the deceiving, the wounding, the bearing of resentment.”

“Are you telling me…to quit and avoid responsibility?”

“Honestly?” Fabio inclined his head. “Yes. But if you can’t bear that burden, isn’t avoidance better?”

“But the work I’m in charge of isn’t something I can simply push onto others.”

“There is no work in this world that only you can do. What if you died in an accident? Would no one else be able to handle it? Would everything simply crumble to dust?”

“…That might actually be the case.”

“Well then,” Fabio said simply. “It’ll crumble because it deserves to crumble. Isn’t that right?”

Athanas could only stare at him, at a loss for words.

Lady T/N Nonsense Comment:

The single word Fabio mouthed to Athanas: