Rise of the OtherGod Apostle: Not a Cult Leader, but a Serf?!

#171Reader Mode

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#171

Pandomonium acted like I hadn’t said a word. Without a glance back, he turned and strode straight toward the Main Building.

I lunged after him, grabbing his arm with both hands. “Wait! Hold on—stop!”

My feet scraped uselessly against the ground as he kept walking, dragging me along like I weighed nothing. Trying to stop him was like trying to anchor a moving car—five solid meters of pure, undignified resistance.

Damn! Should I just ditch him and make a run for it?

This had trap written all over it. And Forced Persuasion? Completely useless. Nothing worked on this guy. Maybe I should start thinking about saving myself first—

The moment I let go, my feet left the ground.

I barely had time to register it before I caught the flicker of a grin twitching across Pandomonium’s face.

“Hyung, that was seriously your best attempt at stopping me? For real?”

“…Pandomonium.”

He clicked his tongue. “Tsk. That won’t do. Guess I’m carrying you.”

“Do you even know what this place is?” I hissed, writhing in his grip.

“Oh no!” he groaned. “You’re not about to start ranting again about how this world isn’t real, are you? Brain in a vat, simulated data, blah blah. Doesn’t matter. Real enough for me.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“Come on,” he said, already walking again. “You had to have talked to House Lizard after everything went to hell, right?”

Without missing a beat, Pandomonium hoisted me up like I was nothing—cradled on his forearm like some kid being carried off to bed.

Then came the telekinesis.

My arms jerked around his neck before I could react. By the time I realized what was happening, invisible ropes had already cinched tight around my wrists.

This bastard. Of course, he’d be this meticulous.

He hadn’t just lazily looped a rope around both wrists, that would’ve left room to slip out. No, he’d bound each wrist individually, then linked them with expert precision. A clean, professional knot. No slack. No leverage. No escape.

All those hours Pandomonium spent watching “how to escape a kidnapping” videos… and here he was, putting that knowledge to use.

As the damn kidnapper.

If the connecting rope were just ten centimeters longer, I might have been able to hook it over his neck and pull. But who was I kidding? With his durability, I’d be lucky to get a grunt. Struggling only made the ropes bite deeper into my skin.

I gave up and let my gaze drift across the scene around us. It looked like a snapshot of collapse—people slumped in chairs, collapsed at desks, or sprawled across the floor in limp piles of limbs and fabric. No movement. No sound. The Bell of Worship had definitely reached this far.

Cold dread settled in my gut.

So the Realm of Order doesn’t cleanse contamination after all.

Normally, it could cancel out most status effects like paralysis, madness, fear. But now? Nothing. Which meant contamination wasn’t classified as a regular debuff.

Just like “Ultimate HappyHappy.”

Then what the hell is contamination?

I twisted in Pandomonium’s grip to face him. “You talked to House Lizard too. How’d you avoid it? The contamination?”

He shrugged, jostling me like a sack of laundry. “Contamination? Eh. I hit it with a ‘So what?’, a ‘Summarize in three lines,’ and a good ol’ ‘Who asked?’ After that, it kinda gave up.”

I stared at him, speechless.

He trolled an existential threat into submission.

Was that the secret? Was the key to resisting psychic contamination just… being too thick-skulled to care?

“That’s it? That’s all that happened? What else did House Lizard even tell you? Besides the whole ‘world’s not real’ thing?”

“No idea,” Pandomonium said, casually digging a pinky in his ear with his free hand. “Wasn’t listening.” Then he paused, eyes lighting up like he’d just remembered something important. “Oh, right. That reminds me! I should probably turn this back on.”

Turn what back on?

“I’ve got this Trait. It’s called In One Ear, Out the Other.”

“…What kind of effect does that have?”

It couldn’t possibly be that literal.

Pandomonium suddenly threw his head back and let out a loud, unhinged laugh. “Haha! Hyung, your voice! It sounds so fucking stupid!”

“…What?”

“You sound like a crying cheetah!” he wheezed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “Or—or one of those squeaky dog toys people step on in the middle of the night!”

What the hell is he even talking about?

“When I activate In One Ear, Out the Other, it replaces human speech with random, funny sound effects. I literally can’t understand a word anyone says.”

…Why would anyone make that a Trait?

Is the God of War actually braindead?

Did he look at all the world’s problems and decide the best solution was to turn his chosen warrior into a toddler watching horror movies dubbed with fart noises?

That’s the divine solution?

“Look, you know my attention span’s garbage, right?” he continued, completely unfazed by my rising dread. “Every time an enemy started monologuing, I’d stop fighting—thought maybe it was important lore or whatever. Drove the God of War insane. So He gave me this Trait. It helps… kind of. Problem is, now every serious moment turns into a try-not-to-laugh challenge.”

Pandomonium shifted his grip on me and flashed a proud, vaguely deranged grin.

“Picture it: guy’s glaring daggers at you, pouring his soul into a dramatic vengeance speech, and all you hear is squeak-squeak like a rubber chicken. You stab him, and instead of a dying scream, it’s boing-boing! What am I supposed to do, not laugh? I cracked up a few times and now I’ve got… a reputation. So don’t listen to whatever weird crap the servants say about me. It’s all lies.”

…So even his own family thinks this asshole is a lunatic.

“And hey, it’s great for interrogations. Doesn’t matter how much they scream or beg—I can’t understand a word of it. So I just keep going until I feel like stopping. Whether they talk or not.”

He laughed again, like he’d just told a knock-knock joke instead of casually confessing to torture.

“You said it yourself, Hyung! My thoughts are easy to read. The smart NPCs caught on quick. Just when I’d start thinking, ‘Huh… maybe that’s enough,’ they’d bust out the ‘I raised you like a son’ card. Y’know, try to tug on the ol’ heartstrings.”

“…Who said that to you?”

Pandomonium just chuckled again, loud and bright. “Man, your voice is killing me. Think there’s a settings menu for this Trait? I’d love to set you to ‘yapping Chihuahua.’”

This damned brat…

My brow furrowed.

Even hearing all this…

There was still a trace of humanity in him. Buried deep, but still there.

Pandomonium needed an entire Trait just to block out the begging. Called them “scripted NPC lines,” sure, but they got to him. Enough that he had to muffle them. Turn desperate pleas into cartoon squeaks just so he wouldn’t have to feel anything.

…Maybe if I could sever his link to the God of War, he could still go back to normal.

The thought barely had time to flicker before it was snuffed out by a surge of fury—not at Pandomonium, but at the absolute trash-tier god who did this to him.

How could a god hand out this much power and not give their chosen the Traits to shield his mind? No resistance to psychic contamination? No safeguards against emotional collapse?

Just brute force and a laugh track.

I looked past Pandomonium’s shoulder and there it was. The stairwell, yawning open, leading down into the basement of the Main Building.

We were almost there.

Whatever twisted this idiot’s mind was waiting for us below. Athanas… or whatever crazy bastard pulling the strings.

We were marching straight into the heart of the trap.

And I was being carried along like a sack of potatoes.

I had to stop Pandomonium. Somehow.

But how the hell do you reason with someone who hears your desperate warnings as the squeak of a chew toy?

I bit the inside of my lip, trying to force my brain to work faster. There had to be a way out of this.

“Hyung, what’re you thinking so hard about?” Pandomonium asked, his tone light and genuinely curious, like we weren’t on a straight march into hell.

“Trying to figure out how we survive this,” I muttered, too angry to hide it.

He tilted his head. “All I heard was, ‘Woof woof, yip yap, bark!’” A wide, idiotic grin spread across his face as he broke into laughter. “That’s you, Hyung. That’s literally what you sound like right now. Fucking hilarious.”

What the hell is wrong with you?

“…You really are a worthless bastard.”

Pandomonium’s grin faltered. Eyes narrowed, just slightly. “Bark woof woof, yap yap yap… Wait. Did you just call me a worthless bastard? I’m kinda getting that vibe.”

“Reyes sent a message. Said he left a ‘gift’ down there. I have a very bad feeling about it. We shouldn’t go.”

“Haha, nice try. Say whatever you want. I can’t hear a thing. Trait’s still on, remember?”

“I’m not insulting you. I’m warning you. Please. Just listen…”

But it was no use. Pandomonium wasn’t trying to be cruel. He just wasn’t letting me in.

Even if I carved the words into my arms, even if I screamed until my throat bled, he’d still laugh and pretend it was sound effects.

Pandomonium had locked himself behind a wall of static and slapstick.

And there was no getting through.

I need to do something he can’t possibly ignore.

But what?

Spit on him? Bite his ear? Try to strangle him?

No. Too aggressive. A waste of time.

It’d be like trying to wrestle a cat into a carrier before a vet visit. No matter how much it hisses and claws, you don’t stop to ask what it’s trying to say.

He’d just lock me down with more telekinesis. Maybe tie me up tighter. Problem solved.

No. If I wanted to break through, it had to be something unexpected. Something weird enough to make him pause. Something that would make him go, “Hyung, what the fuck are you doing?” And maybe turn off that idiotic Trait of his.

Something jarring enough to snap this dumbass out of comedy mode and into oh-shit mode…

So, without a word, I started crying. Forcing it. One stubborn, awkward blink at a time.

“…Hyung?”

It was working.

If it hadn’t, I was fully prepared to dig into the mental archives, pull out the worst thing I’d seen today, and projectile vomit all over his smug face.

“Hyung, are you… crying?”

“I’m saying this nicely: turn off your Trait. Right. Fucking. Now.”

“But why are you actually crying?”

“I just told you! Shut it off!”

“…Are you scared of me?”

“Goddamn it, will you just listen for once, you insane son of a bitch?!”

“…Or is it ‘cause you lost Heretic Slayer? Is that why you’re crying?”

“These tears?” I hissed. “These are pure frustration. I’m crying because of you, goddammit.”

“…Because if this is actually about that asshole, I swear I’m gonna get pissed off.”

Yeah, sure. You’d laugh your damn lungs out.

Pissed off, my ass.

“It’s not about Heretic Slayer, you dumbass! Listen to me. Pandomonium. Please. Snap out of it.”

I leaned closer, trying to meet his eyes, anything to break through.

“Hey. Remember my mental-defense Trait? Yeah, yeah, I said it was crap, but maybe if we try it hard enough—brute force it with sheer repetition or something—it might work. Worth a shot, right?”

“What the hell are you even rambling about? You want my help getting the Heretic Slayer back?”

“Haah… fuck.” I exhaled sharply. “My severed arm should be lying around here somewhere. No time to look for it… So screw it. Can you slice a limb off someone without killing them? No? Doesn’t matter. Take my right arm. Just cut it clean and keep it.”

Pandomonium scoffed. “Forget that stupid guy already. You don’t need him. You’ve got me.”

“Yeah! Exactly!” I snapped. “You’re the reason I’m doing this! If losing an arm is what it takes to break through to you, then fine. I’ll do it. Hell, take more if you want!”

I tilted my head back, rage bubbling up in my chest.

“And you! You piece-of-shit God of War! I know you’re watching. Your so-called ‘unit’ is marching straight into a goddamn trap. No emergency quest? No divine intervention? This is a free relic drop and you’re just gonna sit on your ass? Come on! Throw something down! Do anything!”

I was shouting now, voice cracking, hoarse with fury.

“Goddammit… snap out of it. I’m begging you.”

Pandomonium just laughed and laughed. “The second I brought up Heretic Slayer, you started yapping like your life depended on it. You hear yourself right now? You’re the funny one, Hyung. You’re way too immersed in this game.”

“You fucking bastard! Turn your damn sound back on!”

“Nah.” Pandomonium shrugged lazily. “On second thought, you’re probably not even saying anything interesting. Might as well leave it off. Just keep woofing and yapping, Hyung.”

“Aaaarggghhh! Aaaaaaahhh!”

“Hm. Y’know, maybe angry Chihuahua noises weren’t the best pick after all. Bird sounds might be better. Less grating. Constant barking’s bound to give me a headache. You like birds, right? Dinosaurs and all that?”

“Aaaahhh! You absolute fucking idiot! Just die already! Burn in hell, you piece of shit!”

I was so furious I started slamming my fists against his shoulder—over and over, each blow landing with a dull thud, fists pounding in pure, helpless rage.

And this thick-skulled jackass, with his absurd durability, didn’t even flinch. Didn’t even blink.

He just let me flail, totally unbothered. Like this was still a joke. Still just part of the game.

“What kind of bird would be best? Maybe a lark?” Pandomonium mused, completely ignoring my meltdown. “But I don’t actually know what a lark sounds like… Hmm. Come to think of it, I only know one bird call for sure. You know the one that goes, ‘woohoo-rook kook-kook! woohoo-rook kook-kook!’ You know what bird that is?”

“Yes! That’s the sound your dumbass God of War makes when he gets obliterated in a game and tries not to cry.”

“Nope. Actual answer’s the Oriental Turtle Dove.”

What the hell—

“Oh, and apparently it’s also called the mountain dove.”

A new voice cut in.

A gray-haired man had appeared beside us—silent, sudden, as if conjured from thin air. Behind his fogged-up glasses, pale blue eyes flickered with a brief gleam.

“Greetings. We meet again. It’s me. Francesco.”

“…House Lizard?”

“Yes. Though if you prefer, calling me House Lizard is perfectly acceptable.”

House Lizard gave a faint, narrow-eyed smile.