Rise of the OtherGod Apostle: Not a Cult Leader, but a Serf?!

#148Reader Mode

T/N: Thanks for the coffee Lewe! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

#148

Damn it. He really thinks I’m just making excuses!

“This is the Holy Cathedral, and you’re under the Saint’s protection. If you truly felt threatened by Marcello Teres, you could have requested judgment against him. But you didn’t.” Athanas’s words struck like acid rain, eating through my already paper-thin defense.

“T-That’s…” I fumbled, looking anywhere but at his face.

“I’m simply curious as to why.”

How was I supposed to explain this?

While I scrambled for something halfway intelligent to say, a notification popped into view.

>> 「So when are you coming?」

>> 「Hmm, on second thought, it’s better if I just come to you.」

>> 「omw」

No!

I needed to message Pandemonium back ASAP and tell him to stay put. But doing that in front of Athanas would mean exposing the fact that players could communicate with each other.

Wait, focus on the problem in front of you first…

I forced myself to breathe, to steady my racing heart, and slowly lifted my head to meet Athanas’s gaze. Those unfathomable pools of deep blue seemed to see right through me, exposing every secret, every half-truth I could possibly muster.

Shit.

There was no way he hadn’t noticed my sudden, suspicious eye movements. Not from this close.

“Athanas…”

He never pushed when I said I didn’t want to talk about something, but not because he trusted me. It was the opposite—he didn’t trust me at all. He knew I’d just lie my way out of his questions with half-truths and misdirections, so he never wasted the effort.

But if what I was saying now seemed suspicious, he wouldn’t stop until he uncovered the truth himself. I had to prevent that, whatever it took.

“I’ll explain. I swear, I’ll explain everything… so could you please wait just a moment?”

“…Of course.”

“W-what I’m about to do… it’s going to appear strange, I know, but please believe me when I say it won’t bring any harm to you or the Order.” I grabbed Athanas’s hand—the one still holding my chin—with both of mine. I looked up at him, eyes wide and desperate, silently begging him to understand. “Can you wait for me, just for a bit? A minute is all I’m asking for.”

Athanas hesitated, his brow creasing, a flicker of reluctance passing through his expression. But in the end, he exhaled softly and let go.

…Thank god chat messages are text-only.

With trembling fingers, I tapped out a reply on the virtual keyboard.

「Wait, you’re actually serious? You’re really coming to take the ring back? Unbelievable. You absolute loser.」

「I mean, when I said ‘If you’re that upset, I’ll just give it back,’ that wasn’t a literal offer. And yet, here we are.」

>>「?? What are you even saying?」

「Obviously, “take it back” meant “DON’T take it back,” you socially inept dumbass.」

「Did you completely neglect your intelligence stat while you were here?」

>> 「So… you don’t want me to come get it?」

>> 「If you actually like it, just admit it and say thank you instead of being weird about it.」

>>「Stop acting like I forced this on you.」

「Oh, f*ck off. If you’d just given it to me like a normal person, I would’ve said thanks.」

「Do you even realize how much shit I went through because of you?」

「I nearly sweat blood trying to explain myself to Elamin, you asshole.」

>>「Who is Elamin?」

「The guy at the door. Beard, black hair.」

>>「Ohhh… that Reader dude?」

>>「You close with that guy?」

「Watch your damn mouth, idiot. That’s the husband of the Inquisition’s Knight Commander.」

「If I hadn’t taken the time to carefully explain that nothing questionable happened, you’d be getting your ass grilled by the Inquisition right now.」

>>「?? What the hell? Why me? What did I do?」

「Maybe because I had visible strangle marks on my damn neck, you oblivious bastard.」

「Just thinking about it makes me want to die from embarrassment.」

>>「…Hyung, what’s your endurance stat?」

「25」

>>「25?」

>>「How the hell is your endurance only 25???」

>>「A peach has more durability than you. A freaking peach.」

>>「If you so much as looked at a firm peach the wrong way, you’d probably take damage.」

>>「Honestly, I think a mildly aggressive fruit could solo you.」

「You little shit.」

Even as I typed, I kept sneaking glances at Athanas from the corner of my eye. He stood there quietly, his face giving nothing away. Whenever our eyes met, I’d flinch slightly, my heart stuttering. After a while, he started looking away on purpose, trying not to make me more nervous.

His consideration somehow just made me more anxious.

「Anyway, I couldn’t completely convince him, so if you show your face around here again, Elamin’s probably going to freak out and call Commander Casimir.」

「And unless you want to stand in front of the Inquisition’s Knight Commander and write, ‘I had a lovely time engaging in light strangulation games with a Reader I’d never met before,’ do not come back.」

「Got it?」

>>「Yeah, yeah, got it.」

>>「Lmao, if they make me write a statement, whatever. I’ll do it.」

>>「I just… never realized… humans are so fragile…」

「That is literally what a first-time killer says when they realize murder isn’t as difficult as they thought.」

「Quit screwing around.」

「I’m being serious.」

…I think I handled that pretty smoothly.

Taking a shaky breath, I closed the chat window and turned to face Athanas. My mind went completely blank as I tried to find the right words.

From his perspective, I probably looked like an idiot just staring into space and waving my fingers around, I thought, cringing inwardly.

“So, what I was doing there was…” I began, my voice trailing off awkwardly.

Wait, should I back up and explain my history with Pandemonium first?

I second-guessed myself. Maybe I could say we used to be close? But if he asked when exactly that was…

“If it’s difficult to explain, you don’t have to,” Athanas said, his deep voice interrupting my racing thoughts.

“No!” I blurted out, louder than I meant to. “I’m not trying to hide anything from you, I swear. It’s just… it’s complicated and I want to explain it right. I will tell you everything, I promise… I just need a moment to collect my thoughts.”

Athanas watched me for a long moment, studying my face. “…Are you worried I’m going to harm Marcello Teres?”

“…Wait, what?” I stared at him, totally confused.

Where the hell did that come from?

“I’d like to understand why you’re so afraid,” he said, still watching me, waiting.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I just stood there, stunned silent.

Where does Athanas get this insane level of confidence from?

I wondered. Was it because Reyes went down so easily that he assumed all “players” were weak?

“Athanas, I’m worried about you!” I finally managed to say.

A flicker of surprise showed in Athanas’s widening eyes.

“Why am I scared, you ask? Because I’m terrified that you won’t believe me!”

“…Are you worried that I’d pass judgment on you?”

“No! That’s not it at all.” I shook my head hard. “But if you don’t trust me, you’ll try to find the truth on your own. And if you do that… you could get seriously hurt.”

…or more accurately, you’ll probably wind up dead.

“…And that’s what scares me,” I admitted, my shoulders slumping.

The God of War was completely obsessed with one-on-one duels. He’d probably handed out a bunch of ridiculously overpowered traits to his chosen. A player with cheat-level buffs versus a regular Holy Knight? It didn’t take a genius to see that Athanas would lose that fight. And not just lose—he’d definitely die.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what needed to be said. “The acting head of House Teres is one of the Watched Ones. And he has a way to escape an Apostle’s judgment.”

“…Then—” Athanas started, but I cut him off with a raised hand.

“Please, let me finish,” I pleaded, looking him directly in the eyes. “Marcello isn’t the only Watched One within the Cathedral. Even if you pass judgment on Pan—no, Marcello—the greater danger will still be out there. The truly threatening ones, the ones we should be really afraid of? They’ll be watching, they’ll adapt, and they’ll come back even craftier than before, having learned from Marcello’s downfall.”

The God of War may have screwed with Pandemonium’s brain to the point where he seemed a bit sociopathic, but right now, he was still the most trustworthy player in this whole mess. If Pandemonium got a Game Over, there’d be no way to figure out what Nyapoleon or Insanity were plotting behind the scenes.

“Marcello Teres isn’t on Order’s side. He… unlike me, is working to protect the Watched Ones. The sins he’s already committed probably deserve condemnation, and he’ll undoubtedly continue unless stopped. But… please, don’t pass judgment on him yet. You need to wait.”

The words tumbled out of me, urgent and unfiltered.

“Look, I know how this sounds,” I went on, my hands clenching into fists. “Like I’m making excuses for him, lying to protect him. You’re probably wondering what kind of relationship I have with him…”

I swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in my throat.

“And the truth is… I do know him. I didn’t recognize him at first, but the more I talked to him, the more I realized that he’s…”

I snapped my mouth shut, a tense silence blanketing the room. After a long, heavy pause, I continued, my voice smaller now.

“He was like a little brother to me. So if I’m being totally honest, I feel really sorry for him and the situation he’s in. If there was anything I could have done to change things, to save him… I would have done it in a heartbeat.”

“Since you don’t have the ability to save him, does that mean he’s beyond salvation?”

Athanas interjected suddenly.

“Attempting to save a drowning man without knowing how to swim yourself isn’t courage…it’s reckless foolishness.”

Athanas’s bottomless dark gaze held mine.

“But I have to ask… could you really just stand at the water’s edge and watch helplessly as someone drowns before very your eyes?”

How was I supposed to respond to that?

I racked my brain, trying to remember Order’s teachings. The things Athanas had told me before.

What’s the “right” answer here?

What does Athanas want to hear?

“Be honest with me.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, my eyelids trembling. “…If it really came down to it, I’d probably just watch from a safe distance. Because I’m a coward,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter in my mouth. “Nothing’s more important to me than my own life. I’d probably even feel relieved that I can’t swim… it gives me an excuse. Then it wouldn’t be a choice not to save him; it would be impossible.”

“From what I can tell, you seem like someone who would dive into the water without a second thought, whether you can swim or not. You couldn’t bear to just watch from the shore.”

Pure nonsense spewed from Athanas’s mouth.

What the hell does he know about me?

My cheeks burned with anger. “I’m not an idiot,” I said, hackles raising.

“I didn’t mean to suggest—”

“Getting myself killed by doing something stupid is one thing. But if my recklessness put someone else in danger, made them risk their life trying to save me?” I shook my head fiercely. “I wouldn’t go anywhere near that water in the first place.”

Only the main character in a shounen manga could pull off saving everyone in a no-win situation. No, scratch that—even shounen protagonists fail sometimes. They have to, so they can feel loss and come back stronger. But I’m not that kind of protagonist. If I make a reckless move, I’ll just lose everything.

So the smart thing to do is…

“…Fabio.”

Athanas gently took my hand.

The warmth of his touch settled my shaking, if only a little. Slowly, hesitantly, I opened my eyes and met his gaze. Athanas wasn’t looking at me with disapproval or judgment.

Instead…

…He looks f*cking exhausted.

Was it just me, or did he seem like he could collapse any second?

“I’m not judging your decisions, Fabio. I understand why you did what you did, given the circumstances…” Athanas spoke carefully, thoughtfully. “…And should you instruct me on how to consider Marcello Teres, I will honor your wishes.”

“You…you seriously mean that?”

But… why?

There was no reason for him to just take my word for it like that. If I were in Athanas’s position…

“Fabio. At this moment, I am not the Savior of Order.”

“What? I don’t understand…”

“Order still stands, unlike what I’ve witnessed in my nightmares.”

…And?

He moved closer, his gaze piercing yet honest. “This isn’t a situation where I must throw my life away to purge as many heretics as possible. Order continues to stand firm, protected by numerous Enforcers far more capable than myself. Information is what I need most now. Who deserves to face the blade of judgment? That… is what I’m trying to determine.”

“Marcello is…” I started.

“You already said it yourself. There are others who pose a greater danger than he does.”

…So he’s bumping Marcello down the priority list.

Well, that’s something.

For Athanas, this was a crazy level of restraint.

“Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ll blindly follow whatever you say. I’m saying this because I believe your judgment genuinely serves Order’s cause, addressing a more serious threat.”

“…I understand.” I nodded.

The moment I betray Order, Athanas won’t hesitate to judge me. But for now, it seems like he’s not planning to go after Pandemonium immediately.

Finally, the tension drained from my body. But as the adrenaline and cortisol crashed, they took my strength with them. The room spun and blurred, and I stumbled, my legs nearly buckling under me. I collapsed onto the bed.

“…Are your eyes bothering you?” Athanas asked.

“Huh? No, no, I’m just…tired.” The words felt heavy and thick on my tongue. A migraine pulsed behind my temples, a dull, persistent throb.

I must’ve been way more stressed about Pandemonium than I realized.

“…Or maybe they’re just dry…” I mumbled.

I started to lift my hand to rub my eyes, but Athanas caught my fingers in his, his touch gentle but firm. “…If you’re tired, you should rest. You can fill me in on everything later.”

A faint laugh slipped out. “Hah, if anyone needs sleep right now, it’s you, not me.” I squinted at him through the gaps between his fingers, curiosity burning through the haze in my mind.

What the hell did he even do to get this wiped out?

I’d always wondered.

“Is knight training really that intense?”

“It’s…more of a side effect.” His words were heavy with fatigue.

“A side effect?” Understanding crept in, slow and fuzzy. “You mean…from the reliquary?”

“Yes. When I’m wearing it, I’m shielded from Oblivion and other kinds of mental interference. But in exchange, I need significantly more sleep.”

…Does the system really have a thing for the ‘Always Sleepy Athanas’ meme or what?

“So that’s why you don’t wear it all the time…”

I’d been planning to ask him about that anyway.

With Athanas’s hand still over my eyes, a yawn escaped.

“Then…can I explain after I wake up?”

Athanas said that I could.

…Probably.